"I'm not the only one!" This is what kept resounding through my mind at the Mid South Homeschool Convention. Charles and I spent 2 days surrounded by other dads and moms who, like us, spend their energy, time, and resources to home educate their children. It was so encouraging! I'm sure I screamed "newbie" as I walked the vendor aisles wide eyed and entered every session prepared with notebook and pen in an effort to absorb and remember every bit of homeschooling advice I could! I took notes like crazy because I knew the moment I returned to the real world of unmotivated kids, sleep deprived mom and fussy baby, I would need to be reminded of the words offered by these veterans of homeschooling.
Day 1 of Homeschooling A.C. (after convention)
Mid morning, during math, I noticed myself shifting into panic, lets get through these books, hurry up mode and remembered a few words Todd Wilson shared in his session Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe....."math doesn't matter, reading doesn't matter, the perfect curriculum doesn't matter.....what MATTERS is the relationship with your kids. If we are spending our days in turmoil over math, our relationships with our kids suffer." This really hit home for me. How many days do my kids end up in tears? How often am I frustrated with them because of a silly writing lesson? Too many. Too many.
My toes were stepped on but my heart was changed and I was challenged to be the mom/teacher God has designed me to be--through His strength and despite my weaknesses. I took many notes on several great sessions and I want to post all of them. I will try to detail one a day, but today I will continue with my notes from Todd Wilson's Lies Homeschooling Mom's Believe:
Lies we believe:
1. Everyones house is cleaner than ours---moms, if you turn into a mean drill instructor before company comes over you probably believe this lie
2. Everyone cooks healthier meals than I do--who cares if you fix cereal for dinner?!
3. Everyone is a Proverbs 31 woman and you are the Wicked Witch of the West
4. Everyones Marriage is better
5. Your the only one falling apart and loosing it
Lies.....all Lies! And we believe the lies because we are in the fog and can't see the shore.
How do we know these are lies? Lies feel heavy. They weigh us down. Jesus said His burden is light.
How do we combat the lies?
1. Be real--be yourself, authentic, transparent. Don't play the "I've got it all together" game
2. Allow other mom's to be real with you
3. Remember, God gave your kids exactly the mother they need
4. Realize, your kids will become exactly what God created them to be
* a corn seed doesn't produce a cucumber plant. Our kids are seeds....good/bad reader.....good with
numbers......poor speller.....they are God's design.
5. Relationships matter, it's not the education, it's the training.
True is true....even on the bad days. Even when the fog is too thick to see through to the shore.
Very very true... from a veteran homeschooled child... my dad was the one who taught math because he's so good at it - I was not. I would cry when my mom told me to put my numbers in order from 1 to 100 when I was little. So when it was time for me to learn algebra... it was awful! My dad didn't know how to explain it to me where I would get it and my mom didn't remember it. I was soo frustrated and would spend HOURS sitting and staring at my math book. Im sure my parents didnt know what to do either. Finally, though, my mom decided to take over teaching me... she chose our relationship over just making me "do" the work. Most ever day she would sit down with me and do the lesson with me so she would learn it too. If she missed a day, I'd have to recap the previous lesson so she'd know what she missed. That made all the difference... and I, previously dubbed the "Math Kat" for my hatred of math... ended up with an A in my college algebra class and aced my final. I even actually kinda like math now. But what was important is that, not just in math, but in every subject my parents believed in me and encouraged me and went through the process with us when we had problems rather than being production oriented.
ReplyDeleteI recognize all those lies... and I wasnt the homeschool mom... I was the kid who saw the mom who believed those lies. Every mom should have those five ways to combat the lies posted somewhere in the house to serve as a daily reminder... because those are very deeply ingrained lies... I believe those myself and Im not a mom or homeschooling! lol. It's easy to assume that everyone but you has their lives put together. It's not true... sooo not true. Actually those other people are looking at you thinking their life is out of control and you look so cool, calm, and collected.
Sorry this is long, but I was inspired and tend to ramble... hope it helps a bit... :)
And no... you are by far, not the only one. :)